Shifting

My son is shifting and I can't quite grasp him.  He continually surprises me and catches me off guard.  He has entered a new land, leaving me behind, and I see him as if through a gauzy curtain that is blowing in a breeze.  Sometimes I see him clearly; other times he is a mystery child, delightful yet puzzling.

Today I took him to get socks at Fred Meyer.  He informed me that he would like a new shirt to go with his sweatshirt.  He said he wanted something with "hip hop" designs on it.  I think I did very well not overreacting (I mean, how in the world could this skinny little white boy know what hip hop is?) and asked him to clarify.  He pointed to shirts and sweatshirts that had wild designs on them - flames, and skulls and skateboards and guitars.  Big boy clothes.  No more sedate, conservative stripes, or dinosaurs and dump trucks.  He wants to show his cool personality and some attitude.  I hesitatingly agreed to a shirt and hoodie that I would have never picked out for him myself.  I still have doubts about the hoodie; it has a skull hidden deftly in the graphic design.  I can't believe this is starting already.  I am in uncharted territory.

Growing Up

When did my little boy grow up so big and mature?  Here he is in my sister-in-law's wedding last weekend.  Seeing him in his little suit made this mama feel all nostalgic.  He's so handsome!  

And speaking of growing up, how did Laura get to be old enough to marry?  When I met my husband, she was just a little girl, maybe 8 or 10 years old.  Now she is a grown woman with a life and a husband.


 

My hubby got to walk her down the aisle.  Now that gave me a lump in my throat, too.  I don't know if it was just missing his dad (whom I never got to meet) or visions of future aisle-walking, escorting our daughter to her future husband.  Well, he is pretty handsome, too.  It was a wonderful wedding.

Annika will be absent from this event in our photo album.  She got the chicken pox and had to stay with the other grandparents.  Oh well!  That's life, I guess.
Here she is in the dress she was going to wear, and getting her first real haircut in preparation for the big day that she couldn't enjoy.

Random Thought for the Day

"What would you do if there was only one pickle left in the whole world?"

Discuss.

Man, I wish I had written down what we talked about when we had this conversation a few days ago!

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving - Day Twenty-eight

I love to see my guys having guy time together.  Today, Aaron took Gabriel along for choir practice, and when it turned out it was canceled, they had a morning of exploring parts of the city.  They saw the troll under the Fremont Bridge, touched the vintage equipment at Gasworks Park, and had lunch out.  They got to talk about their favorite things together.  Gabriel loves spending time with his Daddy, and I am grateful that Aaron will take the time to bond and create memories with our little guy.

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving - Day Twenty-seven

I am thankful for the spirituality of young children.  

Last Sunday, Gabriel wanted to take my giant study Bible with him to church, and was upset that I wouldn't let him.  So I pulled out one of our extra generic Bibles to give to him.  I was going to get him something like that for Christmas, but since it was so important to him, I decided to let him have one now.  He reads it by himself every day.  We haven't told him to do this; he figured it out on his own.  He underlines passages and puts notes in the margins, just like he sees us doing in our Bibles.  I showed him a few parts he might be interested in, or that would be easier reading (he was reading in Kings or Chronicles or Numbers or some difficult section), but otherwise he has been taking this project up on his own.

Today we brought one of his friends home with us from school until his mom could get here, since she was running late.  They walked behind me a few steps, and I could hear their conversation.  Gabriel was telling J that he was incorrect about a Bible verse J had told him about a week or two ago.  Gabriel told him how it was really supposed to go.  I think the subtleties were lost on J, but then they were moving on to compare the sizes and coolness of their Bibles they each had.  These kids go to a public school, so I think it's neat that they talk about their spiritual life with each other on their own, as un-selfconscious as if they were talking about toys or tv shows.  

Then, this evening, Gabriel finished his homework and got some paper out.  I thought he was drawing or simply procrastinating about going to bed, but he was working on writing a "scroll" for himself.  It said something like "Rule 1: Obey God." and "The Golden Rule: Treat others how you would like to be treated."  I am paraphrasing here, since he's got the scroll in bed with him tonight.  He rolled it up and put paper clips on the edges to keep it in a cylinder shape.  

How did my son get to be so spiritual?  We don't even do all the things we "should" be doing to train him in the way we would like him to go.  He asks tons of questions, though, and we've had so many deep discussions about all kinds of topics, ever since he could put sentences together.  How does he effortlessly weave his spiritual thoughts and conversations into his life, friendships, and artwork?  I am humbled and a little afraid of the responsibility we have as parents to shepherd this little guy to adulthood, with the best foundation for his life.  It seems a lot simpler to teach basic manners than spiritual depth, and it is easy to let the God-focus slip for weeks at a time in the busyness of daily life.  I hope and pray that Gabriel will keep his thirst for knowledge, and not grow too cynical as he ages.  And I wonder, as I have since he was conceived, what he is going to be like when he grows up.....  

Catching Up

I haven't felt much like writing here lately.  I've been writing in my journal, writing about my morning devotionals, writing about my therapy sessions, and writing to try to get a freelancing career going.  It seems I don't have much left for writing here.  Now I'm feeling kind of guilty. I haven't kept up on my 30 days of Thanksgiving at all.  It is going to be the actual holiday soon!  

Here are some photos from the past few weeks:

We went to the aquarium one day. Annika's favorite part was the octopus.
Here she is climbing on the beautiful sea otter carving:

I've done some baking.  Annika loves to help.  She gets up to her elbows in flour.

We tried a new recipe for us out of Bette Hagman's Gluten Free Gourmet Bakes Bread book.  It uses sorghum flour as the base.  It turned out pretty good:

I taught Gabriel how to use the index in his new Usborne children's atlas, and he loves to look up places now: countries, continents, states or cities.
 I couldn't figure out how to explain looking up names in alphabetical order, but he has a lot of persistence and can usually find what he wants.

Gabriel also has been imitating experiments he has been doing in school. You can't see very well, but he is wearing his white science coat from his dress-up box. He did some sink-float experiments in various iterations. He tried toys, craft items, and spices from the cupboard.
He even cleaned up (most) of his mess without me asking him. He took a bunch of photos, and stuck with it for quite awhile. So cool!

Lost Tooth

Yesterday I promised you a picture of Gabriel's missing tooth.  Here it is!

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving - Day Twenty-four

I am thankful, in a bittersweet way, for being able to watch two special children grow up.  Today Gabriel lost his first tooth.  He's been working at it for awhile.  Yesterday morning he tried to open the toothpaste with his two bottom front teeth (which were both loose), and really loosened one of them.  It bled some, and hurt, and he cried and had a hard time eating throughout the day.  He is a sensitive, emotional little guy.  We tried to tell him that the only way it was going to get better was if it came out, but he was scared.  I remember those times as a child, really wanting that tooth out, but being too afraid to yank it.

Well, today after lunch, he realized his tooth was gone.  It was nowhere to be found.  We are pretty certain that it came out in his food and went down the hatch.  He was upset that he wouldn't be able to leave it for the tooth fairy and get money (how do kids learn these stories??) but Grandma gave him the idea to draw a picture of his tooth and leave it under his pillow.  The tooth fairy snuck in at some point this evening and left a gold coin for Gabriel.  Oh my, was he entranced and impressed.  He declared that he was not going to spend it ever, and it was going to go into his box of special things.  This black box with silver trimmings has a combination lock on it, and is one of his most treasured possessions.  

He confided in me this evening as we were discussing the several "accidents" he had tonight, that it is hard growing up.  I told him I understood; it is hard to have to take more responsibility, to watch your body change and feel out of control about it.  I wanted to cry myself when he said that to me.  I am learning that watching our children grow and enter new phases is one of those heartbreaking yet completely necessary tasks of motherhood.  Gabriel has changed so much since he entered first grade a few short months ago.  I almost feel like this phase rivals the babyhood phase in terms of growth spurts and rapid changes.  I wish I knew more how to deal with it, and I pray I have enough love and wisdom to shepherd him along without exasperating him.

I'll try to post pics tomorrow.  

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving - Day Twenty-two

All day I had been planning to write about the bald eagle I saw this afternoon near Green Lake.  It appeared huge as it circled low over the houses and cars in the city.  It is still a thrill to see bald eagles, even though they are fairly common around here.  The feeling has stuck with me all day.

But I just had to focus on a few moments that I spent with my son this evening.  I was tucking him in to bed, and sat down with him to chat and reconnect.  I asked him about his first loose tooth.  We expect it to come out in the next day or two.  He said he is excited but a little nervous.  He also told me that Annika has been really shy in church.  She doesn't want to sing when they practice the songs they will be performing for the Christmas service.  She finds an adult to hide near, and sucks her thumb.  I suggested we might pray for her shyness, and asked if there was anything I could pray for for him.  He said he'd like to play a sport like basketball or gymnastics, so he could become good enough to win a medal at the Olympics when he is older.  He wouldn't care if it is gold or bronze, because he is really into minerals.  

It was interesting for me to hear what was on his mind.  He has not expressed much interest in learning sports, with the exception of taking Taikwando with his friend form school so he can kick and punch.  I was grateful I took the time to talk and to ask him questions.  He has always been strong in verbal communication, but I have found since he started going full time to school this fall, I have not had very much time with him to learn these sorts of things.  I was grateful I sat with him long enough to talk a bit and get a window into his life.  He's such a cool kid, and I hope we can stay close even as things get tougher in the pre-teen and teenage years.

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving - Day Sixteen

There are a lot of things I could write about today, but I have to brag a little about my son Gabriel.  This weekend he has been busy making books.  He'll take two or three pieces of paper, staple or tape them together, and write and illustrate a book.  They are mostly non-fiction - "How to Make a Computer" or "How to Make Your Own Galaxy."  He is pretty creative about trying to spell out all the words, but he is writing so much, and drawing the cutest pictures too.  He spent several hours today and yesterday creating books and drawing in general.  

Then this evening he wrote in his journal - a small notebook that his grandparents gave him.  He wrote about his feelings and his day, and about what he wants to do when he grows up.  I never told him to do any of this; it is all his own initiative from what he sees me doing.  I am super thankful for my son, who never ceases to amaze and surprise me with his thoughts and abilities.

 

Thirty Days of Thanksgiving - Day Four

A Blustery Day.  

Today we had some genuine autumn weather.  It was blustery and cool this afternoon, but not raining.  The kids were getting on each others' nerves (and mine!) so I suggested they go outside to play.  Gabriel got ready more quickly than Annika, and came back in while she was still getting ready.  He had a clear plastic produce bag in his hands.  It was full of air and twisted shut at the opening.

"I have a surprise for you!" he said.

"Did you bring me some fresh air?" I guessed.  His little cheeks were rosy from the brisk afternoon.

"I caught the wind!" he said as he opened the bag and dumped the air out into my bedroom.

I just had to laugh.  Of course, my response encouraged him to go out and bring me some more wind.  So I thought I better go outside with the kids.  I got Annika ready, and then myself.  The kids ran around for a few minutes.  Then Gabriel went inside and came back out with a kite.

It was pretty funny watching both of them try to fly the little thing.  They both got pretty frustrated.  But I really enjoyed seeing them try to learn a new skill, and it was refreshing to be outside on such a fall day.  

Then Annika started talking about how she wanted to fly up in the sky with the clouds.  This is not the first time she has talked about flying.  She has expressed her desire to fly ever since she could talk.  She wanted to be up with the geese.  She would be Super Annika, and I would come flying with her and be Super Mom.  I think I have an idea what kind of hobbies she might choose when she is older!

So, at the end of it all, I am thankful for this windy day that brought me sweet gifts from my children. 

Red and Orange

Last Friday Gabriel had a day off from school.  I felt like we could both use some time together, so I promised him that during Annika's nap we would do something special.  I gave him a choice of activities, and he chose to do artwork together.  Of course, he wanted to use my special scrapbooking supplies.   We gathered our art stuff at the dining room table.  I thought that I would like to start with pastels, which Gabriel had not had a chance to use yet.  He was interested in them, so I showed him some techniques for drawing with the chalky sticks.  He really enjoyed being able to meld the colors together with his fingers, and made two or three paintings with them over the course of our time together.

We have been trying to encourage Gabriel to use art as a way to express his feelings, to externalize the difficult emotions.  I worked on a piece about how I felt about being laid-up after my recent surgery, and he imitated me, using red and orange.  He wrote underneath the picture, and I was surprised by what came out:

He said, "Red and orange are very vibrant colors.  They are warm and cosy."

My little boy has an artistic soul.  He picks up vocabulary words and remembers them.  Have I ever explained "vibrant" to him?  I don't remember.  But he tucked the word away somewhere, and pulled it out when he needed it.  How cool is that!

Going to Storytime

We rushed around this morning getting ready to head out the door to storytime.  I had made us run a few minutes late checking on something on the internet.  I should have waited until we got back, but I thought I could squeeze it in.  I felt guilty, and tried to control my annoyance and not let it out at the kids as we locked up and headed down the street.  I consciously took a breath to try to quell the stress that had been building in my gut and chest.  I told myself it would be OK if we were a few minutes late to storytime.

The kids ran down the sidewalk.  I worried about Annika tripping and falling on the cement, skinning her knees.  I resisted the urge to yell "Be careful!" or some other inane motherly warning.  Annika had her short little jean skirt on, the one that says "CUTE" on the rear end.  She was wearing her ladybug sandals, which she got on with only a little bit of help from me.  Gabriel had shorts and a t-shirt on, too, and sandals, which I think are too small for his feet.  He won't admit that, though, insisting they are still comfortable.  The kids were excited to be going to the library, and happily turned the corner to the gravel path that cuts through the greenbelt.  

Soon we were under the trees.  The path changed from gravel to wood chips.  I lifted my sunglasses off my eyes to perch on the top of my head.  The shade felt soothing.  The forest smelled damp, shady, alive.  Gabriel said, "I like it here."  I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly, so I asked him "You like it here?"  "Yeah, I like it here," he said.  "I wish I could live here.  I wish my home was in the forest.  I would be an animal or a bird or an owl.  I'd live right here next to the stream."  We continued over the culvert that the stream passes through, and soon were out the other side of the greenbelt, back into the sun, kids running down the sidewalk, past City Hall, and onto the noise and chaos of storytime.  Our snippet of a conversation felt like we had stepped into another time frame for the few moments it took us to walk through the forest.   I didn't have a chance to tell Gabriel that I used to want to live in the forest when I was a child.  In fact, there is a secret, deep place in me that still does, that wants to find a little cabin, plant a big garden, take long walks in the woods, have a wood stove and a water pump, and do whatever it is that people do who live in the woods.  It would be difficult to make it to storytime, though!

Robin

On Sunday morning, as we were getting into the car to go to church, I heard a loud racket from some robins in the back yard.  I looked up just in time to see several robins mobbing a crow.  The corvid swooped into a tree and the smaller birds swooped and pecked at it.  I couldn't stay to watch the whole scene unfold, and I don't know what the crow did to provoke such a reaction.

When we came back in the early afternoon, I noticed something moving on the ground near the back fence.  A quick look with the binoculars didn't reaveal anything, so I went out for a look.  I found a robin on the ground, feathers ruffled, eyes darting.  I squatted down to observe it.  I had interrupted its snack of a salmonberry, which lay partly pecked apart on the grass.It was so odd to see a robin just sitting there, almost as if on a nest, but I couldn't see anything in particular wrong with it.

After a few moments, Gabriel noticed what I was doing, and came out to investigate.  He squatted down next to me, and was able to stay quiet and keep his movements slow.  He was in wonder about the little bird in front of us.  He wanted to scoop it up and put it in a box and take care of it until it healed.  It was difficult for me to explain to him that we would not be able to do that for a wild bird, that we didn't know how to take care of it and couldn't fix whatever was wrong.  Secretly I wanted to take care of it, too.

Gabriel wanted to go in and get my binoculars and his little bird book.  He said, "I'm an expert bird-watcher, because I have a bird book!"  He left and then came quickly back, quietly sitting down beside me again.  Then Aaron noticed we were out there, and came to see what we were looking at.  Annika joined us as well.  She caught on to our quiet demeanor, and copied the way we were sitting, looking at the poor bird.  I guess four were too many observers, and the robin got a burst of energy and flew up to land on the fence.

Once the bird was on the fence, we could see its disability: one leg was hanging down, useless.  The bird sat on the fence for a few moments, then flew up to the gutter on the shop.  We kept watching it, but then I decided to go in the house.  A few minutes later, the robin flew down to land on a post by the wood pile.  Gabriel was still observing our little injured friend.  He sat down in the grass again, and kept watch after all the other family members left.  It amazed me how focused he was, and how quiet and alert.  He is so in tune with the natural world, and has a sensitivity that warms my heart. 

Visions of a Future Teenager

Today we spent the morning hanging out at Olympic Beach in Edmonds.  It was the first warm and sunny day in a few weeks.  The tide was heading out and there were a few folks down in the low tide zone.  I got to relax while the kids entertained themselves.

At one point, a cute little girl about Gabriel's age arrived with her grandpa.  Gabriel wanted to say hi and make a new friend to play with, but he was feeling very shy.  I tried to encourage him to just go up and say "Hi!" and that it would get easier after that.  He is normally so good at making friends.  But he just couldn't come up with the courage to say anything.  So he developed a plan: he'd do something interesting in the hopes that she would come up and say hi to him.

Gabriel then climbed up the steps and began jumping down to the sand right next to the girl.  He did this over and over, trying to entice her with his daring.  Oh, she was paying attention, but was a pro already at studiously ignoring him while watching from the corner of her eye.  I called him back to me and tried to explain that sometimes women appreciate it when the man takes the initiative.  He still didn't get it, but thought it would maybe work if he got Annika to say hi instead.  So he pushed his little sister in front of him over to the girl, and tried to get her to talk to the girl.  Finally, the girl must have gotten impatient, because she made the first move and the kids at last began playing together.

I just thought it was so funny watching this all unfold.  Here was a little boy who already had the idea that showing off was the way to a friendship with a girl.  He tried so hard to impress her, and she finally had to be the one to say hello.  It gave me a glimpse of what we have ahead of us in the preteen and teenage years.  Hopefully these events will not occur very often until much later in Gabriel's childhood!

Turning Six

Gabriel turned six on Monday.  For some reason this birthday makes me feel nostalgic.  Six seems so much older than five.  Five is still a little child, home with mom for much of the day.  Six is going to school full-time in the fall, no longer a preschooler, growing away.  People always say how fast these years go, and recently I have begun to understand this personally.  I used to feel that the days were dragging by, but now I wonder where the time has gone.  

For Gabriel's birthday, I was able to go to his class for snack time and brought some treats and juice boxes.  The class sang Happy Birthday while Ms. Christianson held the giant Birthday Book.  Our family went out to Red Lobster for dinner in the evening.  Gabriel thinks restaurants are pretty special.  It's funny to me how important it is to him to eat out.  Then we celebrated at home with ice cream and Brownie Bites from Trader Joe's.  He'll get cake this weekend for his party with all his friends.